


Always a Price in Wonderland

by mcschnuggles



Series: The Regression Zone [13]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, CGRE - Caregiver/Age Regressor, Gen, Regressing!Taako, Slight Canon Divergence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:27:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22092556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcschnuggles/pseuds/mcschnuggles
Summary: When Taako spins the Wheel of Sacrifice, it lands on “Mind,” and his sacrifice is simple: his adult headspace. Unfortunately, Lydia and Edward have decided they want to keep him.Set during the Suffering Game arc.
Series: The Regression Zone [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1551574
Comments: 81
Kudos: 131
Collections: Regressuary, Regressuary 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry

_Tick, tick, tick, tick._

The Wheel of Sacrifice clicks away, cycling through horrible option after horrible option. Taako watches it carefully, sees every click, every awful possibility. He’s already resigned himself to accepting whatever they offer, simply because he can’t stand to be in this place any longer.

The wheel slows to a stop, eventually landing on “Mind.” There’s a pause, a horrible moment of silence before Edward’s chuckles trickle down from the ceiling.

“My, my, Taako.” There’s honey dripping from his voice, like he’s turning over every precious word before saying it. “There’s a lot to take from you on this front.”

It makes it worse that they revel in it so much. He tries not to let his mind run wild with possibilities. After all, that’s exactly what they want. It doesn’t matter what they offer, he’s saying yes, and they’re moving on.

“But out of the kindness of my heart, I’d like to offer you a deal that benefits us both.”

He loves how they phrase it, like it’s something he’ll even remotely have a choice in the matter. What does it matter? He lost the will to fight back about three rounds ago. “Get on with it,” he grits out. He tries a scowl, but the right side of his face is throbbing too much for it to be worth it.

“We want your adult headspace.” Lydia responds simply.

Taako blinks once, twice. That’s it? Of course, it’s a little surprising they even know he regresses, but it isn’t that surprising. They’ve been getting into his head about everything else, what would make this any different?

Magnus and Merle have gone tense beside him, and only get more tense the more he thinks it over.

Knowing they’ve all but got him, Edward continues. “Well, of course, you’d be safe. After all, babies aren’t allowed to play in Wonderland.”

“Edward and I have always wanted a baby.” Lydia croons.

“You’re not seriously considering this, are you?” Merle asks. Merle, who can see right through him. Merle, who always knows when he’s scheming no matter how hard he tries to hide it.

With no choice but to be honest, he nods.

He’s been in headspace for longer periods of time. After all, there was that whole bullshit with the cursed cup. Compared to that, this should be easy street. …Right?

Then again, there’s the distinct possibility that he ends up stuck here forever. Even if Magnus and Merle manage to get the Animus Bell, they may not be able to save him. Still, the temptation rings strongly.

“Taako, no.” Magnus says sternly, cutting through his thoughts. With his kind gaze and the streaks of gray cutting through his auburn hair, he looks now more than ever like a kindly grandfather. “It’s okay. Merle and I will go again. It’s fine.”

Taako looks to Merle, who’s nodding fervently. They’re both so sure of themselves, so ready to make this sacrifice without once thinking of the consequences.

Magnus, who’s missing a finger and a decade of his life. Merle, who’s missing an eye and most of his weapons. Magnus, who can’t remember the man that killed his wife. Merle, who can’t remember his teacher and can’t see in the dark anymore.

Who knows what saying no would cost them? And for what? Another round of desperately trying to keep Taako alive? It feels like every round of combat has just involved him being hit harder and harder, until his team has to use up all their resources to keep him breathing.

Taako fixes them both with a hard stare. Unfortunately for them, his mind is already made up. “You guys don’t need any more disadvantages. I’m out of spell slots and I barely have a hit point to my name. _It’s the best choice we’ve got_.”

“Tick tock, Taako!” Edward trills.

He speaks before Magnus can stop him. “I’ll do it.”

In that instant, he feels any trace of being a big kid vanish in a puff of smoke. It hits him all at once how tired he is, how much he’s hurting, how he just wants Maggie to carry him home so he and Maggie and Emmy can all nap together.

Every bit of misery he hasn’t allowed himself to voice bubbles up to the surface, forming tears in his eyes. He’s so tired. He’s _so tired_. Without thinking about it, he gropes for Emmy’s hand.

Merle takes his hand and squeezes it tight, like if he holds on, he can stop the twins from taking Taako away. Clinging onto the same vain hope, Taako holds on just as tightly.

Giggles echo from all around them, the twins’ voices filling every space. “Aww, look at that adorable pouty face!” Lydia coos. “Say goodbye to your daddies, little one!”

And with that, the world falls out from under him.

He lands with a thump on a plush pillow.

The room is rather dark, but Taako can already tell what kind of pastel nightmare he’s been dropped into. All laces and frills and smiling cartoon characters. On the space over his head, his name is spelled out in pastel-colored cloth.

He takes stock of his possessions. All his weapons and potions are gone, but he still has his Umbra Staff and his hat, which is really all that matters. Besides, he doesn’t think he’s ever used that dagger once in the years he’s had it.

Clutching the Umbra Staff close, he stands up. Might as well get a feel for this room, especially if he’s going to be trapped in it for a while. As he does, he finally realizes his shoes are gone too. He can’t imagine why, but the carpet is surprisingly plush between his toes.

He carefully inspects the perimeter. One wall is a window, but it’s completely blacked out. The rest of the walls are solid and bare, aside from the childish decorations. There are no other doors or windows, making the room impenetrable. A perfect coffin.

Taako forces himself to breathe. It’s a shallow breath, which much more force behind it than necessary, but it’s what he needs to keep calm in his current headspace. So long as he doesn’t let himself get worked up, he should be fine.

The spanning window flickers to life, revealing Magnus and Merle down below.

“Maggie, Em!” He scrambles over to the window, pressing his palms flat against the glass. Magic buzzes under his palms, so he knows it’s no use to try and break it. There’s no way of telling if what he’s even seeing is real, but he prays it is.

They’re still frozen at the Wheel of Sacrifice, eyes wide and horrified. Maggie keeps looking around, as if Taako is about to Blink back into the room, announce it was all a joke, and laugh at them for being silly enough to fall for it.

Taako blinks back the tears welling in his eyes, trying to ignore just how badly he wants to be there with them, regardless of the danger. But he knows that’s just him being a big baby. He did this for a reason, after all. Because in one fell swoop, he just got rid of their biggest weakness—him. They’ll be better off without him. They always are.

Now they won’t have to worry about protecting him or healing him or just making sure he doesn’t die. He made the right decision. He must have. Right?

After some time, they give up and, finally convinced Taako isn’t coming back, make their way through the now open door. Taako watches them go, silently wishing them luck, hoping whoever is in charge of the button is going to be nice enough to trust them, because Maggie will do the same for them.

As they step through the door, his vantage point violently jerks. It’s as if the entire room is being swung into a new position, with such a force that he’s thrown off-balance. His insides twist, and if there was anything in his stomach, he probably would’ve vomited it right back up. He supposes the alternative, dry heaving into carpet, is a better alternative. When his vision clears and he feels well enough to sit up, he’s watching Magnus and Merle enter.

He leans back, gathering the Umbra Staff with shaky hands. If he doesn’t get a grip, it’s all over. He has his weapon, he’ll be fine. All he has to do is wait for an opening to attack, but hopefully, it won’t have to come to that. Hopefully, he can keep Lydia and Edward distracted long enough for Maggie and Em to win. And if not? Well, he’s just not going to think about that.

…That is, if they even show up. They wouldn’t just leave him alone like this, would they? They couldn’t. They’ll come eventually. After all, why would they go to all the trouble of striking up a bargain just to leave him alone in this tiny dark room? Never mind that it’s feeling more and more like a prison with every passing second.

He feels them before he sees them.

“Hello, baby.” Lydia coos.

Taako turns. They’re hovering on either side of him, like they’re trying to scare him, but their expressions are surprisingly soft.

He supposes he should at least greet them. “Hi…” His voice is soft, uncertain, and that only makes them coo harder.

“Do you like your new room? We made it special!” Lydia says.

Taako opens his mouth to respond, but his attention is violently jerked toward the arena as the telltale sounds of battle echo throughout the area. He leans in, flattening his palms against the glass, as if that’ll bring him closer to Maggie and Em.

“Now, this is going to be a fierce battle.” Edward tells him. “They chose ‘Trust’ again.”

Taako tries not to let the wobble of his lower lip show. “And the other group chose ‘Forsake.’”

Edward balks, as one does when pretending to be surprised at something a child says. “Nothing of the sort!”

“Such a cynical baby we have!” Lydia’s fingers go corporeal for just a second, just long enough to ghost over his cheek.

Taako can’t help violently jerking away. He’s never heard about a lich strong enough to give themselves a corporeal form, no matter how slight. He glances up, meeting Lydia’s eyes. Her face is twisted in fury, but she lets her hand fall back to her side without a word.

“No, no. They’ve both chosen ‘Trust.’” Edward continues, like the whole moment hadn’t happened. “It just seems your dear daddies are getting much worse for wear.”

Taako doesn’t bother correcting him. He gets the sneaking suspicion that anything he says goes in one ear and right out the other with these two.

Instead, he turns back to the window, watching Maggie and Em face down a new round of enemies. He can see just in Maggie’s movements that he’s tired; his strikes are hitting just a few centimeters off, and he’s holding his shoulders wrong.

It doesn’t matter for now, since it’s an easier fight, but how long will it be until that tiredness comes back to hurt him? And Merle? What’s going on with his magic? Sure, they have one less thing to worry about, but that still leaves them with so, so many things to worry about.

“Well, that’s not a very happy face.” Edward says, and only then does Taako realize he’s been making faces. That’s something he’s going to have to look out for. Being stuck in his teeny headspace is going to make it a lot harder to hide his feelings. He’ll have to scheme a lot more carefully.

“No need to worry, little one,” Lydia soothes. “You just leave the big scary thoughts to Uncle Edward and Auntie Lydia.”

“You’re _not_ my auntie.” Taako scoffs. He wasn’t the closest with his auntie, but he still won’t stand for Lydia claiming the title like she’s earned it, like she’s just as good.

For better or worse, his auntie did his best, although she always seemed preoccupied with something else. There was always someone she loved a little better. Strange how he can’t remember who. Just when he thinks he can grab onto a memory, static buzzes, blocking every thought until he has no choice but to drop it.

That’s odd. He’s never had that happen before. Then again, he also doesn’t think of his auntie that often. Maybe he should call her. He considers it, but dismisses the thought almost immediately. Why is that?

“Give it time.” Lydia singsongs. Then her eyes light up. “Or maybe we could even be your big brother and sister!”

Something about those words fill him with dread, but he doesn’t get the chance to voice it before the Umbra Staff violently thrashes against his hold.

He grips the handle to the best of his ability, and miraculously he’s able to hold on, but that doesn’t stop the umbrella from raising itself. Power thrums through Taako’s hands, and before he can bark a warning, it fires.

A firebolt bucks out of the Staff’s tip, gunning straight for Lydia’s face. It passes harmlessly through her incorporeal form, instead striking the wall behind her, but the damage is much worse than that.

Lydia’s face twists in fury again. A full moment passes before she acts, leaving a terrible silence in the interim. Taako doesn’t even breathe. He doesn’t dare to.

With a shocking calmness, she leans forward, equal parts looming over and bending down so their faces are inches apart. “That wasn’t very nice,” she hisses.

“I-I didn’t—”

“ _No backtalk!_ ” Her voice is a presence all its own, reverberating through ever molecule of air. Taako flinches back, a chill rattling his bones, which he belatedly realizes is his body falling on top of Edward’s lich body.

Edward watches him, obviously scared, obviously concerned, but doesn’t say a single word in his defense.

Taako tightens his hold on his umbrella. Magic hums under his palms, and he can’t risk it launching another attack. Why does it keep doing that?

“I think it’s high-time for a time out,” she snarls.

“Lydia—” But before Edward can say anything more, Taako’s perspective violently shifts once more, except this time, the darkness of that transitional period doesn’t fade.

He stays sprawled on the icy floor for a few minutes, rubbing his eyes and waiting for the lights to come back on, but they never do. No matter how many times he blinks, no matter how hard he tries. Even his night vision isn’t working here; he can’t even see his hand in front of his face.

Wherever he is, the darkness is very, very intentional.

“Hello?” he calls. The sound is swallowed in the darkness in seconds. No echo, not even the slightest sign that he’s anywhere. Is it possible to be nowhere?

He clambers to his feet, only to find that the floor beneath him feels no realer than the empty air around him. Are there walls here? How far could he walk without running into something solid?

“Lydia? Edward?”

No answer.

Maybe he can cast a spell to help him out, but as he instinctively reaches for his umbrella, strapped to his back, he realizes that it isn’t there.

Dread washing over him, he flexes his empty hands. That’s right. He’d been holding it when he was zapped away. They must’ve taken it somewhere along the way.

He’s alone.

Completely, utterly, and definitively alone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Personally I think this is the angstiest chapter, so I apologize in advance.

This is when his lack of adult headspace finally hits Taako.

His adult headspace would tell him that yes, even though he’s alone, he’ll be perfectly fine. All he has to do is breathe and think rationally and he’ll be out of here in no time. His adult headspace is a master schemer. His teeny headspace is not.

His instincts surge, urging him to scream, cry, curl up in a ball and shield his head until someone comes for him, and for once there isn’t a larger voice to block that out.

He’s alone. _He’s alone_. He can’t handle being alone.

And it’s so dark. Why is it so dark? With his night vision, he should be able to see just fine. But now he can’t even see his hand in front of his face.

The air thrashes in his lungs, goading him to hyperventilate until he passes out. It’d be so easy to give in, but he has a harsh reality to grapple with.

He isn’t with Maggie and Em anymore.

And it’s not just that he misses them—although he already misses them a lot. It’s that he’s in an environment that no longer has consistency and stability.

The rules have changed.

It’s no longer safe to throw tantrums because he doesn’t know how Edward and Lydia are going to react. How will they punish him for misbehaving? Will it always be this room? What about when they get bored? It’s just like their “no healing in Wonderland” rule; he won’t know until it’s already too late.

It’s not safe to show when he’s upset anymore. Maggie and Em pick up on his signals and get him to talk about things, but these two won’t. They feed off suffering, so why would they even want him to? It’s no use pouting, either. It’s best to just go numb.

Taako counts things off on his fingers. No tantrums, no naptime, no being upset, no talking except when absolutely necessary. Just keep your head down and try to make it through the day in one piece.

He’s about to count off some tertiary rules, when his train of thought is derailed by a sound. It’s small, barely audible, but it turns his blood to ice regardless.

Was that a growl?

No, there’s no way Lydia and Edward would have dropped him here in a room full of monsters, not when they’re so insistent that he’s their baby. It had to be some kind of illusion.

Taako realizes this, and the more he thinks about it, the more he knows it to be true, but that doesn’t stop the trembling in his hands.

Should he run? Would it even matter if he did? Is there any ending to this room, or does this room even exist?

It reminds him way too much of the cursed cup, which only makes him miss Maggie and Em more. He misses getting piggyback rides from Maggie and Em telling him stories. He misses being around people that loved him enough to buy him a whole stuffie. He’ll even say he misses the curse, because at least then he had people that were kind and attentive and he wasn’t alone in a nowhere room where it’s way too dark, and if he heard something that wasn’t real he could go to Maggie and get lots of hugs.

Taako curls up with his knees against his chest and waits, but another growl doesn’t come. The only sound that greets him, no matter how long he waits, is the quiet, so quiet that his ears are beginning to pick up the sounds of his own heartbeat. He should be relieved, but the threat that such a thing could appear anyway only puts him more on edge. After all, what’s stopping the twins from turning the time out room into a Kidz Bop version of the Suffering Game and dropping a monster right in front of him? He thought he knew their MO, but them wanting his headspace—and then wanting to _keep him_ —threw a wrench into that. They’re no longer predictable. And that’s the worst thing of all.

His tears, hot and wet and heavy, drip down onto his hands. At the very least— _at the very least_ —he was doing this in a place where he couldn’t possibly get Maggie and Em hurt by accident, but the thought isn’t as comforting to him as it was a few minutes ago. Right now he’d do anything to have another person here with him.

He wishes he had any spell slots left, even something simple to help light the way. Given the way the room takes in sound, he’s sure light would react just the same, but not even having the option makes him feel so helpless.

Something plows into his chest, knocking him onto his back. Since it isn’t growling or crawling at his face, he decides not to throw it away from him. Is that a bad decision? Probably. But his curiosity is getting the better of him. He runs his fingers over the object, trying to get a feel for what it is.

The Umbra Staff?

It _had_ been acting more animate since they started this mission, but he never knew it could teleport all by itself! How did it even know the way in here?

Taako clutches it close regardless. It smells like mothballs and mold, the worst parts of the cave he found it in, and that’s unbelievably comforting.

He takes one deep breath, then another, trying to even out his heart rate. If he can just calm down… After all, these two feed off of suffering. Maybe that’s their plan, to make him as vulnerable as possible and feast on every ounce of suffering than can put a little kid through.

“It’s okay.” Taako whispers to it. “We’ll be okay.”

If he had his adult headspace, he’d probably be laughing about how stupid it is to be talking to an umbrella. But he doesn’t. All he has is the headspace that talks to Chester like he’s real when he thinks no one’s looking. And is it such a crime to want to believe he’s not going through this alone?

“Thank you for finding me,” he says. He runs his hand up and down the length of it. If it were a person, he’d think he was rubbing their back. “Now all that’s left is for Maggie and Em to find both of us.”

Taako adjusts the Umbra Staff so it’s tight against his chest, the handle hooked just over his shoulder. It’s emanating a gentle heat, single-handedly battling the oppressive cold surrounding them.

“Maggie and Em will come for us.” Taako continues. “They wouldn’t leave me behind. I know they wouldn’t. They aren’t like Lulu…”

The Umbra Staff shudders under his touch.

“Exactly! We just have to bide our time.” Taako vaguely remembers a lazy afternoon while teeny, content to watch whatever his carer—was it Sazed? Sazed always left him to the TV, so it tracked, but it didn’t feel quite right—had put on. Maybe that’s where he picked up this goofy habit of talking to himself, fabricating answers out of the silence.

Either way, he and the Umbra Staff are in desperate need of a subject change.

“Emmy taught me deep breathing exercises once.” Taako recalls. He doesn’t quite remember the specifics, but maybe the effort alone will be enough. “I can teach you! First we breathe in for four.” He takes a deep breath through his nose, tapping the seconds out on the Umbra Staff’s handle. “And hold for seven.”

_Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap._

“And breathe out for eight, but you gotta put noise behind it to blow the bad thoughts away.”

_Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap._

“And then Em says ‘looks like a happy hurricane is hitting the beach tonight!’” Taako says in his best Merle impression. “But you’re not allowed to tell anyone that, not even Maggie, ’cause he doesn’t know I have panic attacks sometimes and Em would have to go into hiding if anyone but me ever knew he said that.”

He takes another deep breath. Four, seven, eight.

“And then Em will wave his hands around my head because that’s how you gotta do the special incantation to make people feel better. He doesn’t do it with anyone else, though, so I don’t think it’s real.” Nonetheless, he does the same for the umbrella, but doesn’t say the incantations. If Pan isn’t listening to Merle, there’s no way he’d listen to Taako, so he employs some magic-sounding gibberish that he used to use in Sizzle It Up to impress people.

He readjusts his hold, relieved to find his breath is coming a little easier now.

“I’m very glad I could help you, magical umbrella. It really seems like you needed that.” After all, even in headspace, he has his pride.

It’s only seconds after he’s calmed down that the liches return, confirming his suspicions that they’re monitoring his sadness closely.

Once again, he feels them rather than sees them.

“No toys in time-out,” Lydia warns. Even in this impossible place, where sound is swallowed instantly, her voice carries an omnipresence.

“I can’t control it!” Taako snaps back. His hands tighten around the umbrella, as he resolves that they’ll have to pry it from his cold, dead fingers before he gives it up again. “If it wants to be here, it wants to be here!”

“Lydia…” Edward says softly. Taako’s noticed he takes the more placating role when they’re without an audience. “It is his first time-out, after all.”

Taako doesn’t have to see to feel the weight of her glower on his shoulders.

It feels like an eternity before she answers, her tone clipped. “Very well.”

She snaps her fingers, and light floods the room. The lights are so blinding that Taako instinctively claps his hands over his eyes and doesn’t remove them for nearly a minute. Even in the half-dark behind his hands, his eyes are burning.

He finally gets a look at his surroundings. Another plain room with no doors or windows, barely large enough for him to comfortably lie down flat.

Lydia hovers over him, her toes dangling two feet from the ground. Her back is straight, her chin held high as she glares at him from down her nose. It’s like she’s trying to look as imposing as possible. “You’ll listen?”

“Yes, ma’am.” This is a game Taako can play. He knows how to fake being the perfect kid, how to be quiet and out of the way and as unobtrusive as possible. This part, fortunately, is second nature to him.

Lydia cocks an eyebrow. While she doesn’t look completely convinced, his use of “ma’am” worked to at least somewhat impress her. “You won’t attack us again?”

“No, ma’am.”

“You won’t try to run away?” He can see the shift on her face, how she’s letting her guard down bit by bit. How could she not after one right answer after the other?

“Never, ma’am.”

She squares her shoulders, prepping her final question, the hardest one. “Who am I?”

His answer is immediate. “Auntie Lydia.”

Finally the rough edges of her expression soften, slinking into a giant grin. “That’s absolutely right, little one.” She claps her hands together. “I think it’s time for a tour! Would you like to see your toys?”

“Oh, yes, Auntie!” The words taste like bile on his tongue, but he forces them out anyway.

Lydia smiles, and if he didn’t know better, he’d say the smile was genuine. “Come along, then, honey.”

She conjures a doorway, one that leads into the main room he was just in, but Edward hangs back, so Taako does as well, taking the time to stand and straighten out his clothes.

It wouldn’t hurt to forge alliances where he can.

He hesitates in the door, feigning bashfulness by idly toeing the ground with one foot. When he looks up, he makes sure his eyes are as wide and innocent as a bastard like him can manage. The hardest part is seeing Edward when he so desperately wants to see Maggie or Em in his place. “Thank you, Uncle Edward.”

His expression softens, almost sadly. “Of course, dear.” He dares a glance at the doorway, but whatever he wants to say isn’t worth saying with Lydia so nearby. “Come now. Your toys are waiting for you!”


	3. Chapter 3

Time moves differently in the nursery.

For each hour that passes in here, only a handful of seconds pass out there.

Taako stays pressed up against the glass, watching each and every tiny movement. Merle and Magnus only move a fraction of an inch each passing minute, but he can’t bring himself to look away. He’s warped with the irrational fear that if he looks away, they’ll disappear entirely, and having them in sight is the only minor comfort he has.

He doesn’t need to sleep, so he doesn’t. As much as he loves naps, he doubts he could ever feel safe enough here to actually fall asleep. Instead he spends his four hours in a trance, carefully tracking each movement, just the same as he does while fully conscious.

Taako leans in, resting his forehead against the glass. The magic rises to resist him, as if he’s going to try headbutting his way through, and a headache blossoms at his temples. With a sigh, he ignores it.

He misses his Maggie. He misses his Emmy.

Lydia greets him by running her fingers through his hair. He’s grown so used to their unwarranted touches that it barely sends a chill down his spine. “Darling, you’ve been staring at that window all day.” Lydia comments.

Taako doesn’t say anything, just readjusts his hold on the Umbra Staff and keeps his gaze on his family.

Not that that would stop her. He hasn’t said a word since his time-out and the two of them just fill the silence by answering one another.

“Wouldn’t you like to play with your toys?” Edward asks. “You haven’t touched them all day.”

Taako doesn’t bother telling him the toys aren’t his style. The dolls and wooden soldiers and trains look fun enough, and he’s embarrassed to admit how much he’d like to play with the tea set, but that’s about as far as his interest goes. Besides, most of these things are carved from wood, as if he wasn’t already missing Maggie enough. One glance at the soldiers told him Maggie could make them so much better.

Lydia picks up a cylindrical wooden toy and waves it in front of his face. “You used to love your kaleidoscope. What happened, honey?”

She doesn’t even try to entice him or even wait for his response. It’s clear from his grimace that he’s not going to bite.

He can feel them sharing one of those grown-up looks over his head. Except with them, he wouldn’t be surprised if they actually were talking telepathically.

“Oh, I’m sorry we had to be so hard on you.” Lydia coos. Her fingers ghost over his cheek, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. “But it was all for your own good, darling. Auntie Lydia didn’t mean to scare you.”

Taako doesn’t answer. He knows if he opens his mouth, his answer of choice will be “go to hell,” and he doubts that she’d look too kindly on that sort of response.

“I know what can cheer him up.” Edward says. Out of the corner of his eye, Taako can see him waving his hands, casting something with a flourish. “What about this, dear?”

He holds the summoned object just within Taako’s line of sight, and Taako reacts without thinking. “Chester!”

“There’s a smile!” Lydia coos. The words roll right over him. “Did you miss him, honey?”

Taako snatches Chester from Edward’s outstretched hands before he has time to change his mind. He’s just as soft as Taako remembered, and he still smells like the sandalwood scent packet Taako sewed into him last month.

Taako cuddles him close, feeling the knot in his chest already starting to unwind. If he can’t have Maggie and Em, Chester is the next best thing. He tucks Chester in around the Umbra Staff, keeping them both tight against his chest, and turns his attention back to Maggie and Em. He can’t wait to show them Chester. They’ll be so surprised! He normally doesn’t pack stuffies with him when they go on adventures, just to be mindful of inventory space.

His elation fades, and suddenly the plushie in his hands feels a little less real. Lydia and Edward had to get into his head for this information. In reality, this is probably just as fake as every other thing in this room. Part of him wants to toss the fake Chester away, but he doesn’t. He’ll take whatever comfort he can get, no matter how transparent, no matter how fake.

Still, it must be obvious from how he deflates. He can feel the twins casting another look over his head, like they’re switching tactics again. He’s sure their only goal is to get him away from this window. After all, who wants a mopey kid?

“Taako…” Edward begins carefully.

Lydia glides backward, to give them a little more space. She knows he likes Edward just a little better. Her outburst must have cinched it. They’re going for the good lich/bad lich angle.

“We know you’re having a rough transitional period, but we swear it’s for your own good. And as a gesture of good faith, we’d like to share something.”

He pauses dramatically, and Taako fights not to roll his eyes.

“Would you be interested in getting your adult headspace back?”

He tries not to look like he’s completely enraptured, but it’s no use. His head jerks in Edward’s direction the second the words are out of his mouth.

“Of course, everything we take…we keep.” Lydia opens her palm, and in it appears a purple ball, roughly the size of a crystal paperweight.

He hears the unspoken promise in their words. They also have his looks, Maggie’s stolen decade, Emmy’s eye. All he has to do is find out where they’re holding them and get to them. Maybe he can steal back Lulu’s decade too. Of course, he knows the chances of getting these things is slim to none, but the fact that it’s a possibility…

She waves her hand with a flourish, and the crystal ball vanishes in a shimmer. Taako watches her hand closely, looking for a tell of which direction it may have gone. Sometimes spells like that leave little trails, but it seems like she’s too practiced a spellcaster to have such an obvious tell. “We might give it back if you’re good!”

That was their first mistake. Or maybe it was intentional. Either way, they’d given him a goal, something to work toward. Taako’s not stupid. He knows they’d never willingly give his adult headspace back, that it’s just a cheap tactic to get him to behave how they want him to. But he doesn’t need it to be real. Sure, he’ll play their game like they want. And maybe it’ll let their guard down just enough to take something else.

The one thing that Taako has learned in his seemingly endless time here is that his adult headspace is far more cynical than his younger one. Meaning that despite all logic, despite all odds, he lets hope bubble up. In all reality, he doesn’t think he’ll get away from these two, but that tiny hopeful part of him wants to believe a long string of miracles will kick off, and he’ll be back with Maggie and Em before the week is up.

So that’s what he tells himself. If there’s an increasingly improbably series of lucky coincidences that allow him to get away, he wants to have Maggie and Em’s missing pieces with him. If anything, it gives him something to work for, so he doesn’t waste away in front of a window or lose himself completely.

He glances back toward Maggie and Em, casting them a silent apology and goodbye, and stands. “I’m bored, Auntie. Can we play something together?” Perhaps it’s a little too obvious, a little too forward, but he wants them to notice that. He wants them to think that they’ve put the right incentive in front of him, because then they won’t notice what he’s really after. After all, the best way to steal a man’s watch is to tell him you’re going to steal his wallet.

Lydia squeals with delight. If Taako didn’t know any better, he’d say she looked genuinely thrilled. “I knew you’d come around! What shall we play?”

“I quite like dress-up.” Edward answers.

Taako hates the tiny part of him that jumps at the chance to play dress-up. He knows before they even start that it’ll be nothing like how it is with Maggie and Em. Still, he has to fake it, so he smiles, thinking of the time Maggie and Em _and_ Avi all let him paint their nails and pretending it’s for Lydia. “Yes!”

Lydia beams, placated by his enthusiasm. “Wonderful!”

And with a snap of her fingers, the three of them are transported away.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter for Regressuary!

Their version of dress-up sucks.

Out of everyone in the world, Taako thought the vogueing elves would have an idea of how to make _dress-up_ , of all things, fun.

If the goal was to humiliate him, they weren’t doing a very good job. And if their goal was to make him actually enjoy himself, they weren’t doing a very good job.

Maybe they were trying to make him afraid? As he stands on the raised platform, a hundred blank faces passively watching his every move, that certainly feels like a possibility. Then again, they never seem to realize just how creepy the mannequin shit is to begin with.

They didn’t even let him dress up by himself; they just snapped their fingers and suddenly he was in a new outfit. For their sense of style especially, it was odd.

A large bow sits tied around his collar, just tight enough to be uncomfortable, but every time he tries to pull at it, someone’s hands are swatting him away, forcing him still, and undoing his work. He doesn’t even bother with the cuffs of his blouse, which are stiff and unyielding around his wrists.

The jacket and vest both have far too many buttons. He only hopes that when the liches have had their fun, they’ll poof him out of it, because he doubts he’d have the patience or the coordination to undo each and every one. Then again, that might just be the punishment they have in mind. They’re probably still mad he has the Umbra Staff. No matter what they try, they can’t get him to let it go. Even now, he holds it close.

His skirt is poofy, puffing out in a wide radius, but it barely reaches his knees. He wrinkles his nose. While he loves dress-up and wearing skirts, he certainly doesn’t care for skirts this ugly. Plus, it smells like dungeon mold.

“Isn’t he precious?” Lydia croons. Taako tries not to roll his eyes. At least _they’re_ having fun.

“The cutest!” Edward agrees. “I’ve never seen a more handsome young lad!”

Lydia puts a contemplative finger to her lips. “Something _is_ missing, though.”

Taako tilts his head up, watching as his hair is levitated up over his head, twisted into an elaborate braid, and laid over his left shoulder.

That’s…odd. And extremely harmless. Taako fingers the hair tie they’ve chosen for him, a deep purple ribbon tied in perfect bow.

Lydia and Edward practically melt.

He wonders where they’re hiding that crystal ball, and if he could get his hands on it without them noticing. Asking for it probably wouldn’t work, but it would probably be best to try when he was at his cutest. Might as well try and get them buttered up.

“Do I look pretty, Auntie?” he asks. He gives them a little twirl, and the crowd roars with cheers.

Lydia and Edward, however, aren’t looking at him. They’re turned away, huddled together and speaking in low tones.

“One of us will have to headline.” Edward is saying.

“I’ll do it.” Lydia murmurs. Taako has to strain his ears to hear her. “Taako likes you better. Spend some time with him.”

Their heads snap to him, and Taako throws out a random pose to try and look like he wasn’t totally eavesdropping.

“Taako,” Lydia croons. Her voice is dripping with honey as she floats over. “Darling boy, Auntie Lydia has something very important to deal with right now. Be good for Uncle Edward and I’ll be right back, okay?”

Taako nods and curtsies, just as is expected of him. “Yes, Auntie.”

“Oh, you’re so cute,” she coos. And then she’s gone.

For a moment, Edward and Taako lock eyes, a silent question passing between them. What is Edward going to say now that Lydia isn’t here? What is Taako _allowed_ to say now that Lydia isn’t here?

When it’s clear Edward will say nothing, Taako decides to change the subject. “Can I watch?”

Edward offers a rueful smile. “You want to see your friends, don’t you?”

Taako nods. There’s no point in denying it. He probably couldn’t think of a very good lie right now anyway.

“Of course.”

The room disappears, plunking Taako back in the nursery. For good measure, he gives his collar a rough tug and heads straight for the window. He’s not sure if it’s Edward’s interference or not, but the window flickers to life immediately.

He can feel Edward’s presence lingering behind him, watching him in that strange way he does, his eyes sad. He tries not to make it obvious, but Taako has managed to catch him once or twice. What in the world does he have to be so heartbroken about? “I understand that you’re afraid.”

Taako ignores him. They don’t expect him to speak much anyway, especially when he’s staring out the window.

He can’t describe the feeling of relief that rushes through him when Maggie and Em enter the room. Sure, they look worse for wear, but they’re still standing, and that’s more than he could ever ask for. He flattens his palm against the glass.

Whatever new thing she’s putting them through, there’s a stage, the mannequins crowded around like an overenthusiastic audience. Maggie and Em are stationed at a giant wheel, while Lydia poses dramatically in front of a giant board divided into small squares. Above the board in neon letters are the words _CATEGORY: THING._

“But there’s really no need.” Edward continues. “We don’t want to hurt you, Taako. We want to care for you.” The fake Chester floats over to Taako’s side, and it takes every bit of will he has not to cuddle him close. It’s not the real Chester, he reminds himself.

Magnus spins the wheel first, and Taako notices that each one has a different symbol on it. It’s not like the Wheel of Sacrifice, at least he doesn’t think. He can’t see all of them, but most of them look like they have monetary amounts written on them. One of them is just a picture of a glock.

“Taako…” Edward sounds hopelessly lost as he sidles up beside Taako at the window. He keeps a respectful distance between them, but that doesn’t make his intense staring any less creepy.

The Umbra Staff twitches in his hold, almost daring Edward to come any closer. It’s almost like it thinks it can take the liches separately.

“We’d like you to be comfortable here.”

Taako tries and fails not to roll his eyes at that. How could he ever be comfortable here? He’s a _prisoner_.

“If you’d give us the chance, I promise that we’d be fun.”

Whatever Magnus lands on, it makes the mannequin audience cheer. He furrows his brow at the board behind Lydia, his face scrunching like when he’s trying really hard to figure out a puzzle, and shouts something Taako can’t hear.

Two of the blocks on the board go blue, and Lydia vogues her way to each in turn, hitting the last square by backflipping and touching it with her toe. Each block she touched now is lit up with a glowing letter _E_. A word puzzle?

Edward offers a sympathetic smile. Apparently he doesn’t intend to give up anytime soon. “It can’t be too uncomfortable, can it? After all, you’ve spent so much time around our kind.”

“What?” It’s so unexpected that Taako tears his eyes from the window. Em is in the middle of spinning the wheel now. His fingers are crossed and his eyes nervously follow the movement of the gun panel.

“With liches.”

“I’ve never been around liches…” Taako trails off. Instinctively, he knows that’s not true, but he can’t quite explain why. He can almost see them, two liches, a man and a woman, but at any point beyond that, his mind stutters and all he can process is the static.

Edward raises an eyebrow. “You don’t have to lie to me, darling. You’ve got the stink of them all over you.”

The Umbra Staff quivers in his hold. Taako can’t blame it. He’s scared too. First Ravioli and now Edward? Why does everyone think he’s surrounded by liches all the time? And why does that sound right?

Liches are scary. Well, at least for the most part. He remembers being scared around them a lot. But who were they? He can recall a lich hovering over him, trying to entertain him with magic tricks. The lich tried his best. He didn’t have experience with kids much. How was he supposed to know Taako was too big for peek-a-boo? But he was…the lich was…that woman…

“I don’t…” A migraine splits open his forehead, so severe that he instantly doubles over.

Edward closes in immediately. “Are you alright?” His hands hover over Taako’s shoulders, fading in and out of corporeal form.

“Head hurts.” Taako grits. He can feel his blood pounding in his ears and temples, the pressure almost unbearable. He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to block out the now searing light, but it doesn’t do him any good. The Umbra Staff tumbles out of his hands, but Taako doesn’t react. He’s lost all feeling in his body below the neck, every sensation eclipsed by an all-consuming pain.

“Oh, you poor dear.” Edward croons. “Let’s get you to bed and maybe Uncle Edward can get something to help the pain.” His hands solidify around Taako’s shoulders to pull him to his feet.

“No!” Taako’s head whips back toward the window. Despite the pain, he needs Maggie and Em in his line of sight right now. They’ve almost solved the puzzle, so it reads _A REAL C_RSE_ S_OR__

He wrestles out of Edward’s hold, which is admittedly loose, and presses his face to the window, like if he wills it hard enough, he’ll stick to it.

“Please don’t take me from them,” he begs. “I need to see them.”

Edward shushes him. “It’s okay, darling. You won’t miss a thing.”

To Taako’s utter horror, the movement outside crawls to a stop. His mind races, trying to process what just happened. Did he stop the outside or the inside? The only thing that scared Taako more than not being able to see Maggie and Em was not being able to see them and _knowing_ something awful was happening on the other side of this glass.

Edward offers an apologetic smile. “That way you can come back when you need to. Nothing to worry about. Just rest.”

Taako hates to admit it, but he’s exhausted and in a lot of pain. Rest does sound nice. He lets out a shaky breath, his fingers brushing the glass as his hands fall numbly to his side.

“Thank you, honey.” Edward’s fingers ghost over his hair as he leads him away from the window and toward the bed.

Taako doesn’t remember there being a bed earlier, but he doesn’t bother asking about it. The mattress depresses under his weight, the soft material threatening to swallow him whole. With how his head is hurting, he just might let it.

A thick plush comforter floats over his shoulders, fluttering down and molding into the curves of his body. It carries a pleasant weight, one that makes it so easy to let his eyes drift shut.

He barely sleeps before his night terrors return with a vengeance.

He can see them, the man and the woman, the two liches, floating over him. They’re speaking, but he can’t hear them over the static. The white noise raves and roars, as if to drown out his own thoughts.

The longer he stares at them, the more the curves of their faces come into focus. It feels like his brain is splitting in half, but he persists. He has to know who they are, why they’re here. Why him? Why him?

“Sissy!” Taako jolts up, as if he’s been physically spat out of his dreams.

Whatever spell had been cast on him fades. His memory of his dreams fades, leaving him with a sore, aching body and a numb, addled mind. The person he thought he was seeing vanished, and he finds himself staring down at Lydia.

Lydia blinks at him, beaming like Candlenights has come early. “Is that so, little one?” she coos. Her voice is so saccharine that it makes Taako want to gag. “Am I your big sissy?” She throws out her arms, which solidify as they wrap around his neck in a gentle hug.

Taako wants to vomit. They’ve gotten into his head somehow. Why else would he be crying out? It’s not like he has a sister or anything. No, Edward probably set this whole thing up, putting in false memories of some imaginary liches and topping it all off with a headache.

But every part of him hurts. He can feel the blood on his knuckles, so he had to have thrashed against the wall in his sleep. That, and he’s tired. His splitting headache is gone, but now that he’s slept, his body only wants more. It doesn’t care that they’re in dangerous territory, he’s tiny and achy and sad. He should nap.

He’s almost back asleep when the realization stabs into his brain.

Lydia is here.

Which means she can’t be with Maggie and Em.

Taako throws off his blankets and races toward the window, which they must have blacked out to help him sleep. None of that matters now.

He casts a cantrip, something small to just bring the glass back to life. Much to his surprise, it works, and a blinding light brings back his niggling headache.

The outside is just as Edward had promised, which only serves to make things worse. He sees Magnus and Merle, halfway through solving a puzzle, with Lydia floating by the giant board. But how could she be there and here at the same time?

The realization, cold and unthinkable, coils around his body, threatening to strangle him.

Does time even move differently here? Or have they just been showing him illusions? How much time has really passed out there, and what has he missed?

Are Maggie and Em even still alive?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry for that cliffhanger that lasted a month. Here's a chapter. I have no excuses.

Taako snaps.

Well, “snap” is how he would describe it. More accurately, he breaks, collapses, crumbles.

If he had any control of his headspace, this would be awful, but manageable. Compartmentalize, crack a joke, and move on. But he’s teeny and isolated and he just lost sight of the two people he cares about most in the world.

He pounds his fists against the glass, causing a spark of magic to erupt from the point of impact. It stings the sides of his hands, but he ignores it. If he doesn’t get out of this room _right now_ , he’s going to lose it.

“Taako, dear, what’s the matter?” Lydia asks. Edward comes in behind her. Neither of them look angry, only scared. Good. Now they can all be scared.

He rests the sides of his fists against the glass, the pain finally settling in. The magic thrums against his skin, sending uncomfortable but not painful sparks up his arms. “I want to see them.”

“Darling, you’re looking right at them.”

“I want to see them _now_. No more reruns.” He glares down at the fake Lydia. The fact that she’s here, trying to talk him down, only makes him more upset. She should know more than _anyone_ why he’d be a little miffed right now.

So when she swoops in, all ready to put her creepy ghost fingers all over his shoulders, he tenses like he’s ready for battle. “Sweetheart, sit down—”

“ _I KNOW IT’S NOT REAL!_ ” Taako whirls on her and booms, which only opens up the floodgates. He’s crying as he turns back to Maggie and Em, who aren’t moving and may not even be alive anymore, and tries ramming his shoulder into the window. It’s a move he’s seen Maggie do before, but it doesn’t have the same effect. In fact, the only thing he manages is to hurt his shoulder. He doesn’t care. He flings himself at the window again, to similar results.

“Stop him!” Edward cries. “He’s hurting himself!”

He doesn’t wait for Lydia to jump into action and takes Taako by the arm, pulling him away from the window before he can try again.

Taako doesn’t fight against him. His chest is heaving, both from the effort and from his anger, as he surveys the window. There’s no sign of damage, no sign that anything he did had any effect.

It’s not fair! He wants Maggie and Emmy, and the window’s just being mean! If he had his spell slots, maybe he’d be able to do some real damage. It’s now that he gets a horrible, wonderful idea.

Wait. He _rested_. As terrible a sleep he got, he still got some sleep, which means all of his spell slots should be back in order.

And he wants this place to _burn_.

He lifts his palm, preparing to throw a fireball like a softball, but something seizes his wrist before he gets the chance. He screams, the pain in his shoulder finally registering as his arm is wrenched back. Whatever’s holding him lets go immediately, if only because his spell fizzles out in his hand the second he’s distracted.

“Sweetheart, please just breathe!” Lydia begs. “It’s okay. You’ll be better soon, I promise!”

Taako barely hears her. “Take me to them,” he demands. “Take me to them _right now_.”

“Please, dear, just go back to—”

Taako cuts her off by slamming his body into the window again. Pain blisters up his shoulder, nearly forcing him to his knees. Sharp agony splits his side, and he wonders if he’s broken something, but he still doesn’t stop. He rears back, this time angling his good shoulder at the glass.

“Lydia, we have to let him see them.”

“We can’t.” Lydia says, but her resolve is weakening. “Taako—”

This time, when Taako slams into the window, a force pushes back. Something in his shoulder crunches, he cries out, and his knees fall out from underneath him. He slumps against the glass, the fight draining out of him. Slowly, his senses return to him. The taste of blood in his mouth, the fiery sting running up both of his arms. His reflection stares back at him, carefully overlaying the frozen image of Lydia, Maggie, and Em, untouched even after all that.

The liches pause. Taako dares a peek from behind his hair to see them exchanging worried glances.

“They made it through.” Lydia whispers, sounding genuinely shocked.

“Should we…?” Edward lets the question hang. There’s no question who they’re talking about.

“Take me to them!” Taako cries again. Maybe it’s not a good idea to be making demands right now, when his legs are shaking so badly that he can barely make it to his feet, but he’s gotten this far without reprimand. He cups his aching ribs, mostly propped up by the window. “Take me to see them or I won’t stop!” Just to show them he means business, he flattens both palms against the glass and steels his shoulders. He doesn’t want to ruin his face and forehead next, but it’s all he’s got left.

Lydia acts first. “Stop!” she cries, moving between him and the window. “Stop, stop! We’ll take you to them.”

“Right now?” Taako grits out.

“Yes, yes!” She snaps her fingers, and the window behind them changes. “Just _please_ stop hurting yourself, darling. You know how scary it is for us when you’re in one of your fits.”

Taako doesn’t hear her. Maggie and Em are in a single room, spotlights shining down on a single catwalk. They look at each other, clearly confused, but as the mannequins watching them demandingly point toward the stage, shrug and proceed.

Maggie goes first, trying his best but still looking rather clumsy. Taako’s pretty sure he caught three different dance moves from thirty years ago thrown into his strut.

Emmy follows quickly after, pulling his tunic down over one shoulder, but ends up over his feet on the last few steps up to Maggie’s side. Taako has to smother a giggle behind his hands.

They reach the end of the stage, striking a final pose to scattered applause. Taako’s room is placed right in front of them, so it’s almost like they’re looking right at him.

They made it.

_They made it_.

Magnus especially looks worse for wear, but he’s standing, and that’s what matters most. Taako wants nothing more than to scoop them up into a hug, to cling to Merle and never let go.

His smile quickly fades as a horrible thought strikes him.

What if this isn’t real either?

This could just as easily be another trick to keep him complacent. It’s not like he would know the difference. His hands ache again—not from his escape—but from the lack of human contact. He has to be able to hold them or his mind will never be at rest.

“Sissy, can I say goodbye?” he asks. He turns, making sure she can see the blood dripping from the corner of his mouth.

As a professional brat, he’s well aware his past tactic won’t be as successful the second time, not when he’s had time to calm down. It’s a deliberate phrasing, to ask if he can say goodbye. Part of him knows that he might not ever be able to escape, the other part hopes he can soon, and that pretending he’s given up will let their guards down. A little honey mixed in with an idle threat.

Lydia’s face hardens, her earlier sympathy dissolved. “No.”

“Lydia, honestly, what’s the harm?” Edward says. His phantom fingers ghost over Taako’s shoulders. “You don’t have to be so authoritarian with K—with Taako.” Despite having no physical windpipe to speak of, Edward turns and audibly clears his throat.

Lydia eyes him seriously. “Five minutes. And don’t even think of trying to escape.” Her eyes cut to Magnus and Merle. “Remember that I can do much, much worse than I already have.”

She snaps her fingers, and the world violently turns.

Taako staggers, just barely able to keep his balance, but as he lifts his head, he finds Maggie and Em facing away from him, a catwalk of distance between them.

For a moment, he almost doesn’t dare break the silence, but his need to know it’s real gets the better of him.

“Maggie? Emmy?”

They whirl in his direction, looking so much worse for wear up close. Maggie needs a nap. Emmy too. If it were any other situation, Taako would be laughing about how silly they look right now, their jaws dropped in pure shock.

Magnus speaks first. Taako can already see the unshed tears shining in his eyes. “Taako!”

He can’t stop himself from running right into their arms. Unable to choose, he runs right between them, collapsing to his knees at their feet. He gasps for air and sobs as two pairs of strong arms wrap around him, grounding him.

“I’m so happy you’re okay.” Magnus says, sounding more than a little choked up.

“You’re okay, aren’t you?” Merle asks. “You’re bleeding. They didn’t hurt you or anything, did they?” He carefully thumbs at the blood in the corner of Taako’s mouth. The action is so tender that Taako can’t help sobbing.

“And _what_ are they making you wear?” It’s Magnus’s attempt at a joke but the fact that he sounds like he’s still on the verge of tears negates any humor that might have first been there.

“It’s okay. I’m okay.” He hooks one arm around Merle’s neck, the other around Magnus’s. Obligingly, they shuffle in closer so he can rest his face on both their shoulders. They’re so warm, so _real_. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed the hold of a real person until he was being held again. “I missed you.”

“We missed you too, bud.” Merle says. He speaks because Magnus is too busy pressing kisses to Taako’s forehead to answer. “We’re so happy you’re okay. We were so worried.”

“I know. I know. I saw.”

Magnus pulls back, confused. “You saw?”

Taako points up, to where his room is. Like he thought, the window is only see-through one way, but the room itself is still there. He wonders if it’s tethered to the two of them, or if Lydia and Edward manually move it each time.

“You didn’t hear what I said when I got bit by that poison dragon, did you?” Magnus asks. He looks so chagrined that Taako can’t resist.

“Yeah.” It’s a fib, but he thinks it’ll be funny. He couldn’t hear anything outside his room, and their lips moved too slow for him to be able to read them unless he was really, really paying attention. And usually at that point his attention had wandered.

“Please don’t repeat that!”

“What are you gonna do if I do?”

“Feed you right to the tickle monster!” Before he can pull away, Magnus’s fingers are digging into his sides, making him howl with laughter.

“’s no fair, Maggie!” he cries, trying and failing to slink out of Magnus’s iron grip. His shoulders scream in protest, but he ignores them. “’m ticklish!”

Behind him, Lydia loudly clears her throat.

Taako offers an apologetic smile as he pulls away, ignoring how Maggie’s and Em’s hands stay firm around him, as if they’re willing to physically pull him out of the twins’ clutches.

“I think I have to go.”

He can see Maggie’s heart breaking. “Go? But we just got you back.”

Lydia gives him a smile. Edward hovers behind her, both looking miles away from the fear they were sporting just minutes ago. “No need to be so hasty, dear. Of _course_ you can stay with them.”

Lydia smiles at Edward, and they share a gaze so cold and sinister that it shakes Taako to his core. Merle must feel it too, because he instinctively cradles Taako’s head a little closer to his shoulder.

Lydia holds the Animus Bell in one hand, her smile widening to show her canines. “Your prize, sirs.”

One long fingernail taps against its side.

The bell rings, from this plane to the ethereal and back again. It rattles Taako’s soul, making it feel like he’s cast Blink fifty times in a row before everything settles.

It’s only then that he realizes something is different.

Something about the ethereal plane has shifted, putting his surroundings just ever so slightly out of place. He looks to Magnus first, to find his worst fears come to life.

He’s not looking at Magnus.

Well, he is, at least technically. It’s Maggie’s face, Maggie’s smile, but the light in his eyes is distinctly…inhuman. The way he looks around, the way he regards Taako, it’s not Magnus.

Magnus-Edward grins, not-so-subtly pushing Merle away. “Taako! Come here, honey!”

He doesn’t have time to pull away before Magnus-Edward snatches him into a tight hug. He whines in discomfort as he tries and fails to take a breath, but Magnus-Edward doesn’t even notice.

“Is that wonderful? That I get to keep you?” Magnus-Edward tosses Taako into the air, catching him with ease and holding him tight again.

Taako squirms, trying to find the room to breathe, but Magnus-Edward’s grip only gets tighter the more he struggles. “Maggie, you’re hurting me!”

Magnus-Edward feigns a gasp, gently setting Taako on his feet. “Did they hurt you, honey?” He pretends to check Taako over, lightly patting his arms and shoulders. Taako fights back the urge to roll his eyes. He knows exactly where the injuries are; he watched them happen.

“You poor thing.” Magnus-Edward coos. “We’ll go home and have a nice nap, okay?”

Does he really believe Taako’s this gullible? Or is he just so happy to have a body that he lost his subtlety?

Magnus-Edward turns to Merle, who he’s been gradually pushing Taako away from. “I’ll keep the bell and stay with Taako, and you can go back into Wonderland! You’ll even get to live, Merle! How does that sound?”

Taako looks over his shoulder. An exit has appeared behind them, a shining beacon of freedom. Lydia is holding the Animus Bell, eyes roving over Merle. Her lip is curled in distaste, like she’s too good to steal his body. Who knows if she will or not, but Taako won’t give her the chance.

His hands lock around Magnus-Edward’s wrist, wrenching him to a stop.

“Well, I’ve got a fucking idea for you.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got kind of fast and loose with the Animus Bell rules, but oh well. Enjoy the last angsty chapter!

When his soul latches onto Maggie’s, Taako can feel the world ebbing away.

He so badly wants to crumble, but he knows he can’t. There’s still something that needs to be done. So he holds on tight, so even the strongest magic in the world can’t tear him and Maggie apart, and stays that way until Merle can pull them both back.

He plows back into his body with a painful thud, and gasps desperately for air, his lungs screaming in pain. Every part of him is shaking, because in those few short moments, it’s like his body has completely forgotten him. He dry heaves once, nausea rising and fading as quickly as it came.

“Taako!” Lydia races over to him, checking him over for injuries, like this sick little game of theirs has any right to continue.

He doesn’t even think. He just dives for her, snatching the bell right out of her ghostly hands. In the distance, he hears her scream.

The world slowly closes, everything around him going dark, aside from the silver, shimmering bell. He knows it’s the thrall, and he knows that he’s playing with fire, but fire is exactly what they need to survive.

“Well, hello there, little one.” The Animus Bell says. “Aren’t you an angry thing?”

“Get them out of here.” Taako hisses.

“If you’ll have me.”

Taako grits his teeth, feeling the foreign magic assault his palms. It burns, but barely, like it’s waiting for the go-ahead.

“Gladly.”

Foreign magic always has a different feel to it. No matter how close people are, someone else’s magic just feels the slightest bit off. He could feel it when Merle was healing him, little pinpricks on his skin, prickling away at his wounds and vanishing in an instant. He could feel it when he was training Angus, a new magic that hadn’t quite found its identity yet. It was drawn to his own, tried to mimic his own, but it still had that spark of individuality.

This was a new feeling altogether, a flood compared to a lifetime of trickles. His vision swims, the world around him shifting into vague outlines of enemies and allies. There’s only one thought in his mind: _revenge._

Is this what it’s like to be in the full sway of the thrall? With the Gaia Sash, he only got so far as picking it up before someone stopped him. Now no one can stop him.

Taako raises the bell of his head, swinging it down with a forceful ring. The noise only clouds his head more, leaving behind only the insistent, pulsing need to lash out.

Edward is thrown from Magnus’s body, replacing his life force with Taako’s, which Taako immediately relinquishes. Even a lich as powerful as Edward is useless against the sheer power of a Grand Relic. He looks stunned, but only for a second. Taako opens his umbrella, and in that second, Edward’s spectral form goes spiraling into the umbrella.

The umbrella moves with force, wrenching Taako’s arms forward as a wave of magic surges up his arms, before going completely still.

Once it has settled, the Umbra Staff spits out two things: a pile of ash and a glimmering crystal ball.

“ _No!_ ” Lydia doesn’t even bother with the crystal ball. Apparently her priorities are elsewhere. There’s screaming, a scuffle, things that Taako doesn’t see or hear.

He turns his attention back down to the little silver bell. “How are you at destroying life forces, no replacements necessary?”

The bell chuckles darkly. “Little elf, it would be my _pleasure._ ”

Taako can’t help smiling along. His vision sways, forming around a single lich. He moves in long, slow strides, relishing in the moment that Lydia notices him.

Her eyes grow wide, and she curls back. She’s trying to force a smile, and it sounds like she’s trying to appeal to him, but he can’t hear her. Even if he could, he wouldn’t listen. What could she even offer him? Her companionship? Her and her creepy brother _kidnapped_ him, took him away from his family, and tried to slot him into the void Keats had left.

Taako stands over her. She’s kneeling by a pile of remains that used to be Edward, and she hasn’t made an effort to get up. Maybe she thinks it’ll help her chances with begging.

Now he knows why Lydia loved hovering over him so much. It’s so easy to feel powerful from up here. She looks so pathetic, it’s hard to believe she was ever a threat.

Taako rings the bell. Power rides on the sound waves, sending tingles of magic up his arms, a sensation that’s unfamiliar but not unpleasant. He could get used to it. He’s sure he will.

It cuts into Lydia, hitting some center of power in her chest. Her soul maybe? Hard to believe she even has one of those. Whatever it is, it splits like a walnut, bringing brief rays of light to the surface of her spectral form before she too crumbles in on herself.

The twins sit in matching piles of dust, as harmless as could be. The lone crystal ball sits atop them. Taako doesn’t even bother picking it up, instead opting to introduce it to the business end of his Umbra Staff.

It shatters like glass under the force, releasing a plume of wispy white smoke. It rises to greet him, slipping into his open mouth with a surprisingly bitter aftertaste.

Maybe the feeling of his adult headspace would hit harder if the Animus Bell wasn’t already overpowering every sense, but he can still feel the bones of the sensations. Drinking, taxes, scheduling your own dentist appointments. It barely registers.

“Taako?” Merle calls. His voice sounds so distant, even though he’s only a few paces away. Why does he look so scared, so stunned? Doesn’t he know Taako just _saved his life?_ “Little buddy, it’s okay now. You’re safe, alright? Just put the bell down.”

When he steps forward, Taako doesn’t register that it’s his Emmy. He knows that, in the back of his mind, but all he can see in front of him is a new threat.

“ _DON’T TOUCH ME!_ ” Taako shrieks, sending out a blast of magic so powerful that it sends Merle staggering. “ _I DON’T WANT TO BE TOUCHED! I’M SO SICK OF BEING TOUCHED!_ ”

“Let’s keep going, shall we?” the bell prompts. It burns in his palms, itching for further destruction.

Taako doesn’t really want to, at least not here. He has to go somewhere else, find someone else, maybe a different threat. “Stay back,” he warns. He backs up, surprised to feel a door manifesting behind him. Is the bell hooked up to the entirety of Wonderland? And if that’s the case, would it be so bad to stay here, rounding up all the bad people that want the bell? He’d be doing good if he did, right?

A mannequin moves toward him, and he almost lashes out then and there. He thought Lydia and Edward controlled these creepy things! How is this one moving on its own?

“You stay back too!” he yells.

His fingers shake around the bell, which he holds out like a weapon. The edges of his vision are already starting to fray, shrinking his line of sight down to the immediate threat in front of him.

“Taako…” Merle waddles forward. He comes to an ungraceful stop when Taako turns the bell in his direction. “Buddy, it’s okay. Just put the bell down. Everyone’s safe.”

“He doesn’t know that,” the bell chimes in.

“You don’t know that!” Taako cries.

Merle continues on without really addressing his point. “Everyone’s safe for now. And we can handle whatever comes next without that bell. Isn’t that right, Magnus?”

“Exactly!”

Taako goes cold. It’s Magnus’s voice, but it’s coming out of one of those _things_. He spins on the mannequin, which has been inching closer alongside Merle. The bell is straining against his hold, wanting so badly to attack. A mannequin would be easy pickings. Lydia and Edward were able to command hundreds, maybe thousands of them. It wouldn’t be too hard to make this one back up.

But before he can bark an order or lash out, a third voice joins in.

“….Ko….”

It sounds so faint, but he knows that voice. How does he know that voice? He’s sure he’s never heard it in his life, but it fills his heart with joy regardless. He grasps at the familiarity, but he can already feel his sense slipping, replaced with the overwhelming rage the Animus Bell is pumping into him.

“ _TAAKO!_ ”

His body lurches, his hand almost going slack around the bell. The bell responds, sending a jolt of magic through his arm that makes his body lock up. How does he know that voice? And where is it coming from?

“You need to put down the bell,” the voice says. It takes no effort from his imagination to hear the voice saying in the same tone, “you need to go to bed,” or “you need to eat your dinner before you can get your grubby hands on a cookie,” though he has no idea why.

He grits his teeth. “No.” He doesn’t want to let go of his only means of defense, nor does he want to listen to weirdos in his mind. After all, that’s the only answer. There isn’t anyone else in the room, but him, Merle, and that freaky mannequin pretending it’s Magnus.

“I know you’re angry,” the voice continues. “I’m angry too. But you can’t let these fucking relics win. The fight’s been fought, Koko.”

The flood thins, the rush of water calming enough for him to see what’s in front of him. A blurry figure approaches, striding with confidence. Taako doesn’t recognize the look of his outline.

“Shh.” The voice is so soft, bringing forth images of late-night conversations, secrets shared under pillow forts, and promises made at midnight. “You don’t have to be tough stuff anymore. It’s okay. They’re okay.”

There’s a mannequin standing in front of him, one hand held out in Taako’s direction. Doesn’t he know Taako could obliterate him with just a ring of the bell?

“Give Magnus the bell.”

Maggie? But that’s… It’s not…

Taako’s eyes move to the mysterious third pile of ash, and his stomach drops. He didn’t do that, did he? He didn’t mean to…

“I…”

“Taako.” It’s a different voice this time. Soft, deep. Maggie. Coming from the mannequin. “The bell can’t hurt me. It’s okay.”

“But…” The liches are gone, aren’t they? Why does he still want to fight? There have to be more bad guys to chase, especially when he has all this power. Wouldn’t it be a waste to give it away?

“It’s over, hotshot.”

He’s heard that phrase somewhere—a million different somewheres. Running from naptime, trying to steal someone else’s clothes. Every time he got caught. Who was he running from? The static roars, sweeping him up into a brand new tidal wave he can’t fight. He lurches, the bell tipping from his hands and into Magnus’s.

Almost immediately, his vision goes dark.

* * *

The next time Taako wakes up, he’s supremely uncomfortable.

It feels like he fell asleep in the world’s most uncomfortable wicker chair—all wooden angles with no cushion against the grain. The gentle movement of whatever he’s on top of could almost put him back to sleep, if it weren’t for the persistent pains up his arms and the too-cold night breeze pushing softly at his face.

His vision comes back to him slowly, gradually opening up the world behind him, everything in blurry detail. His eyes focus on the closest object, which turns out to be Merle. He’s walking after Taako, meaning that something is carrying him.

“He’s awake.” Merle announces. His gaze is soft as he looks over Taako. “How ya holding up, little buddy?”

Taako scowls. “I’m not little.”

Merle doesn’t blink. “How ya holding up, Taako?”

Taako groans. “I feel like…like…” Whatever he’s trying to go for, it’s not coming. “I don’t know. Insert metaphor here. Shitty.”

“Well, technically, and I don’t mean to be ‘that guy,’ but it’d be a simile.”

Taako turns his head in the other direction to see the lich floating in front of him. “Ugh, it’s you. Listen, homie, you gave me a lot of trouble with those voguing bastards.”

The lich chuckles. “My apologies.”

Taako rolls his eyes and turns to the mannequin carrying him. “Maggie, you can put me down now, punkin.”

Magnus obliges, and Taako tries not to cringe when they come face-to-face. To see Magnus, happy, expressive Magnus, trapped in an expressionless mannequin is nothing short of heartbreaking.

“You okay?” Magnus asks.

“Fine.” Taako responds. He can’t even convince himself with his response, but it’s flippant enough that no one presses the issue. “Where are we going?”

“Wherever the lich is taking us.” Magnus answers. “We agreed to trust him without you because you were unconscious. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever. Lucretia was getting real shady anyway.” If he had his credit cards with him, he’d start shredding them, but he’s pretty sure he left them behind at the Bureau.

“Well, that was easy.” Merle tries a chuckle, just for a bit of levity, but it’s clear that he’s just as worried as Magnus.

“Look, I’ve had a fucking day, week, however long I was trapped with those fuckers. The sooner I can a. get out of this forest and b. sit down, preferably with a drink, is fine by me.” He opts out of option c. which would include crying for however long he needed. It’s a need he stamps down furiously. Even something as simple as being held was enough to scare the hell out of him.

Their walk continues in silence. Taako keeps waffling between headspaces—or at least he wants to. He barely gets past the initial feeling of smallness before his heart starts to race, his throat closing like the world is ending around him, until he gives up the ghost and stays big. He feels a prickle of anger, sharp and uncontrollable. He watched those liches die, and yet he’s still afraid they’ll be coming for him any second now.

“Who’s Sissy?” Magnus asks suddenly.

“Come again?”

“You were talking to someone…” Magnus trails off awkwardly. “…when you had the bell. When you gave it up, you said, ‘okay, Sissy.’ And I was just wondering…who that is.”

“I…I don’t know.” Taako fixes his gaze behind him, watching as the Felicity Wilds get smaller and smaller, until the details fade away. Until the bigger picture gets fuzzy, and all he’s left with is a vague semblance of the cities beneath him.

He pulls his cloak a little tighter around his shoulders as a sudden breeze rolls in. The cold that closes around him is quick and harsh, on every part of him except his forearms. He rolls up his sleeves to see pink burn marks, shaped vaguely like hands. Like someone had grabbed him.

Like someone had held him back.

“It’s not important, I guess.”

**Author's Note:**

> mcschnuggles.tumblr.com


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